Most girls dream of spending
happily ever after with their knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, a
good husband doesn't come with a sign saying, "I'm the one!" With a
divorce rate of 41 percent in the United States, the right match can be
pretty hard to make. But there are a few core qualities that every woman
should look for in a man in establishing a solid foundation for
marriage.
Financials
Step 1
Keep money on your mind. We'd
like to think money does not matter in love, but in reality it does.
Financial problems are one of the leading cited causes of divorce, and
debt places an enormous strain on couples. Plan for yourself
financially.
Gauge his potential. You should
have an idea of what to expect from him. Does he have what it takes to
succeed in his industry? What is he capable of? Consider where he could
be in 10 years and decide if you are happy with that.
Step 3
Compare him to yourself. You
must either be able to see him growing with you career-wise or be okay
with surpassing him. Some women have no problem being with a
stay-at-home husband while others begin resenting their husbands for
holding them back. His goals and ambitions should match yours.
Step 4
Think about the life you'll
live with him and whether you can be happy with the standard of living
you can achieve together. If his job might require relocation to another
country, will you be comfortable with that? Your projections do not
have to be perfect, but you must be prepared for the life that could
come with a certain husband.
Step 5
Make sure he's OK with your future prospects. If all you want to do is be a homemaker, he has to be fully accepting of that.
Commitment
Step 1
Find out his values, including what he thinks of marriage and whether he believes in divorce.
Step 2
Determine if he is mature
enough to understand the partnership of marriage. He must realize the
sacrifices that being a husband entails. He cannot be selfish and expect
you to tailor to his needs all the time.
Step 3
Gauge respect, whether he
respects you and pays attention to your wants and needs. He should
listen to what you say and not dismiss it as just girl troubles. He
should be able to carry on meaningful discussion with you and give
substantial weight to your arguments.
Step 4
Judge his commitment level to
you: how well he knows you, how hard he has tried to make your
relationship work and how he has showed his commitment.
Step 5
Consider his history, whether
he's loyal to friends and whether he ever cheated on his ex-girlfriends.
If he has cheated before, he has what it takes to do it again.
Family
Step 1
Meet his family. This is very
important and often underrated. Determine whether you like his family,
whether they like you and whether they're respectable by your standards.
In-laws can sabotage your relationship, or they can be a lifesaver.
Step 2
Understand his relationship
with his family. You should be aware of any issues he has before joining
it. Chances are that if he's a great son/brother/uncle, he'll also be a
great husband and father.
Step 3
Compare his family background
to yours. Socioeconomic discrepancy is the root cause for differences in
values, habits and mannerisms. In order to predict future success and
compatibility, you must know where he's coming from. Opposites attract,
but compatibility is based on similarity.
Step 4
Talk about children. Assuming
something or neglecting to broach the subject can lead to disaster. Be
sure to discuss your plans and preferences with each other before
considering marriage.
Step 5
Have your family meet his
family. Each family is different, but it is always a good sign if your
family gets along well with his.
Stability
Step 1
See yourself with him every day
for the rest of your life, whether you can talk to him about anything,
your levels of mutual trust and any potential communication problems in
the future. A man who can freely communicate with you will do well as a
husband.
Step 2
Compare flexibility, how
willing he is to compromise compared to you--for example, whether he's
willing to clean or learn to cook. Life is full of compromises, and he
must be able to make them without throwing a fit or holding a grudge.
Step 3
Watch how he solves and handles
problems. Does he overcome difficulties with emotional strength or
break down easily? Life is tough and full of curve balls. He should have
the ability to strike out, take it like a man and try again. A good
husband will prop you up when you need help, not collapse and drag you
down with him.
Step 4
Check the chemistry.
Relationships start with initial chemistry, and while most of the
newlyweds' charm fades as the years go on, there is a basic element that
keeps two people together.
Step 5
Follow your intuition. If something about him does not feel right, listen to yourself. You will never regret it.
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